Tagged with "mean"
Win a Movie Date with Mean Golem Tags: movie date mean golem avatar win

Originally posted May 18, 2010.  Note: this is an ongoing contest, as to date no one has entered.



We are pleased to offer the first Elf Clan real-life contest: MOVIE DATE WITH MEAN GOLEM.

The movie to be seen: AVATAR.

To enter the contest, please answer the following questions, based on the movie:

1. What is Mean's favorite skin color? (Hint: it's not red yellow green orange or purple)

2. What is Mean's favorite greeting? (Hint: frozen sheep)

3. What is Mean's favorite concept for living quarters? (hint: it's huge and barks)

4. How many legs do Mean Golem's horses have? (hint: it's not four)

5. How many times has Mean seen the movie AVATAR? (Hint:  the answer is not zero or two.)

6. Was Mean aware of this contest before I posted this blog?

Contest rules: you must be willing to provide your own transportation to a midwestern state and bring a straight jacket, handcuffs and gag. Actual date of the event will be sent to you by private email so as to not forewarn Mean (we want it to be a surprise). We are not responsible for accidents. This contest becomes null and void in the event of Mean having catastrophic heart failure or a temple artery bursting. Redemption value of this contest prize: Bring a cell phone with a good video camera.  It could be priceless. :D


 Comment by Oona Sharple on May 19, 2010 at 9:03pm

    Is dis a joke ?! 1) Mean HATES da AVATAR movie 2) Wut's wif da straight jacket, handcuffs and gag?  3) Oona sure him not knows about dis hehe ; )


Comment by Mean Golem on May 20, 2010 at 1:47pm
    they say a picture is worth a thousand words . . . in this case. . .


Comment by Moontan Valeeva on May 21, 2010 at 12:32pm

    I wonder why no one does the contest.......... Too high risk to win it?

Schlitzie, Zekeen and Mean Golem Tags: Schlitzie Zekeen Mean Golem


    Once upon a time Schlitzie, Zekeen and Mean Golem were out touring the countryside.  Suddenly there came a downpour and the only available shelter was a farmhouse.

    They knocked on the door and despite the fact the farmer met an Ork, a Dragon and a Viking at his door, he welcomed them in hospitably.

    "I have but a small home," he told them.  "I can sleep two of you barely, but one will have to sleep out in the barn.  There is a cow and a pig out there, if ye can handle that."

     Schlitzie was the first to speak up.  "I'm an Ork.  I can 'andle ANYTHIN'!"  So he goes out to the barn and everyone settles to bed.

    Five minutes later a knock comes on the door, and there stands Schlitzie.

    "I'm sorry, but strong as I am, that cow and pig are stronger.  I can't take the smell."

    "That's all right," Zekeen said.  "I'm a Troll and I've got no problem with cows and pigs.  I'll sleep in the barn."

    So everyone settles down to sleep.  But 5 minutes later there is a knock on the door.  They open to find Zekeen standing there.

    "I've lived 500 years," he states.  "No offense, but I've never smelled such rancid animals."

    "Oi, yer all wimps!" says Mean Golem.  "Sleep in yer tidy beds, I'll go out to the barn!"

    So once again everyone settled down to sleep.  But 5 minutes later there came another knock on the door. 

    There stood the cow and the pig.




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