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Wot Food Really Is Tags: food

 

WOT FOOD REALLY IS

 

We eats food on a daily basis. Is nahmy. But do we really understand what we are eating?   According to ancient Dwagon knowledge:

 

HAMBURGER:  Ground mucle from dead cows. (Better than from live cows, I guess.)

 

EGGS: Unborn chicken babies.

 

WHERE EGGS COME FROM: Chickens pops 'em outta dere butt. Serious. Looks it up.

 

HOTDOGS: All the pieces of "meat" they can't sell anyway else, all smashed up and mixed with really good stuff like sodium nitrate, sodium benzoate, and lots and lots of salt. Mmmmmmmmmm...

 

MUSTARD: Crushed plant reproductive organs, mixed with water and vinegar.

 

VINEGAR: Spoiled apple juice.

 

MILK: Cow juice. Primarily cow fat mixed with bovine proteins. Right straight outta cows.

 

HONEY: Bee spit. Honest.

 

COFFEE. Dis one a liddle more complex. See, da coffee BEAN isn't really a bean. It is a SEED from da coffee fruit. A coffee fruit is something like a cherry. I has no idea what dey does wif da fruit part, but apparently dey throws it away. Den dey takes da seed, cleans it, dries it, bakes it until it pretty much burnt, crunches it up and puts it in water. Which brings one to wonder: who da dickens figure all dat out in da first place?

     I mean, it like, "mmmm tasty fruit. Nah, let's throw dat away, dry, burn, crush and drink da seed". Ohhh yeah, dat makes lotta sense.

    Now, if that is not bad enough, there is "Kopi luwak or civet coffee, refers to the coffee that includes part-digested coffee cherries eaten and defecated by the Asian palm civet".  That is right, civet cat eats da coffee cherries, poops out da seeds, and people makes coffee from it.  For the doubters out there, the quote parts are right outta Wikipedia, kinda like civet coffee is right outta civet cat.  mmmmmmmmm....

 
COOKIES: Da finest wheat mixed wif natural sugars, natural chocolate and baked to perfections.

Is dere any questions?

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P.S.  You know "Boston Butt Pork Roast"... guess what part of piggy DAT come from?

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