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Handling Problems (drama) Tags: handling problems drama

Elf Clan Charter
* Griefers * Drama Queens * Personal spats *
From time to time, stuff happens. These range from intentional vandals (griefers) to problems with friends. We all get out of sorts from time to time. Please remember even in such situations, to deal with HONOR, RESPECT and FRIENDSHIP.

Even with griefers? Yes. Sometimes they are lost causes. Other times though-- those griefers have been impressed by Elf Clan ways and moved on to become our friends and allies. We have members today that ceased being griefers because of Elf Clan.


Now, if you show people respect and they still cop an attitude, that's when the following guidelines come in.

Please remember we're all imperfect, have flaws, and people get out of sorts from time to time. Be forgiving, let things slide, be the bigger person. Even friends and family have spats from time to time. Once you've had time to calm down, talk it over as friends and mature adults. Don't blame-- best to say "That upset me" rather than "You did that and this". Spats happen. Get past it by trying to seek peace and harmony, regardless. Mend the wounds. Heal the relationship.

NON-NONSENSE, TO-THE-POINT NOTE: "Drama" (excessive emotion and negativity) is
expressly forbidden on these lands. Those who engage in such activities will promptly be shown the door. This is our home. Visitors and members are guests. We appreciate suggestions and feedback and encourage suggestions. We don't appreciate arrogance or rude behavior. No one has the right to come here and tell us how to run our home. This is not a democracy. It is a Fantasy Elven Kingdom that has been in operation for years. Polite and respectful suggestions are welcome; attitude is not. We are a friendly, harmonious, hospitable and peaceful group and ask visitors and new members to show the same respect.

GREETERS, GUARDIANS and ELDARS are the Elf Clan equivalent of moderators, with their primary duty that of welcoming newcomers and making them feel at home. To help keep your visit pleasant and peaceful, some do carry the authority to freeze / ban if someone crosses the line.  Please respect the Greeters. They are here to help you enjoy your visit to Elf Clan.

We have dealt with griefers a very long time and we have learned one thing:  They can't do permanent damage. We can.

What we mean is that sure, they can upset people and harass them. The won't do so for very long.  They might destroy a sim. Sims can be "rolled back" and repaired-- easily-- as if nothing ever happened. They can rez annoying things and disrupt events. Usually they can be ignored, muted, and the event continue. If not... there will be future events. On the other hand we can abuse-report them, resulting in them often being perma-banned from the grid. It is easier for us to report them than for them to create a new avatar. Inworldz isn't afraid to ban people at core identity level (ie IP address, computer identity, etc).  

Don't interrupt your event. Call for assistance on Elf Clan chat, ignore the griefer, encourage others to do the same thing. Continue the event. Note their name and report them later, after the event is over.

In dealing with immature individuals:
1. Do not overreact. Note their name; write it down.
2. Call for a Greeter or Eldar
3. Ignore them.  If possible, continue your activity. Report them after the activity is done.
4. Ban them from the land if you have that authority.
... then just get on with things.

A griefer is a bully, a cowardly vandal. Griefing takes many forms, including attacks with weapons, "caging", verbal insults or or other abuse. Any "damage" they do can easily be undone, at the press of a few buttons. You have more power than they do... if you keep a cool head. Don't get upset... that's what they want. Don't feed the trolls. If you remain calm no matter what, you remove their power.

One of the primary tools griefers use is "push weapons", caging devices, or other toys. Sitting on the ground is usually an effective defense against all such.
One of the best ways you can disarm a griefer and totally spoil their plans is to simply say bye and leave the area. There's nothing they hate worse than to be ignored and left by themselves. It totally de-powers them to have their victim leave the vicinity. You can easily go find something else to do until the child is gone, then come back under more peaceful circumstances.

Ignore the offender. The best defense is to laugh it off. Gather as much data as you can in the way of NAMES, CHAT and SNAPSHOTS and send them on a notecard to a Greeter or Eldar. If one is not online, send it to the Eldar's profile. We promise you: they won't do so twice-- at least not on these lands under that avatar. If we find their behavior bad enough, we'll contact the grid managers and ask for them to be removed permanently. You are also strongly encouraged to file an abuse report with the respective grid.

Yes it does. Direct example:
We hosted an event on one of our sims. A griefer group invaded the sim, creating no small amount of havok. Unfortunately for them, the event was hosted by one of our Guardians. The Guardian froze the griefers, banned them from the sims, removed their toys, and contacted Concierge. The group continued to "attack" via IM and chat tools. Concierge examined evidence of the activity, and ten minutes later the most active of the griefers was banned from the grid. The rest of the griefing immediately stopped.

Griefers are cowards. They hide behind their keyboards and harass people for no reason than their own antisocial and abusive nature. Demonstrating that we are not powerless against them... that there will be consequences for their actions... usually makes them hesitant to strike again. If they are goofy enough to do so... we'll take them out again, zero tolerance.
Q: Why is drama forbidden? Isn't it rather common on SL? Doesn't RP entail "drama"?
Not in Elf Clan. Our RP is respectful even "in character". In the past, the worst problems in Elf Clan have been caused by "drama queens". Therefore, it is official policy that we no longer tolerate such. If someone cannot conduct him/herself in an emotionally mature, adult manner, they are welcome to conduct themselves elsewhere. Elf Clan is made up of harmonious, positive, friendly people. We like it that way. : )

So take it easy, don't get riled, laugh at them, enjoy yourself, and continue on with your activities. Such people are nothing more than a bump in the road, soon far behind and long forgotten. They are irrelevant... and they know that. If they want to become relevant, they can start helping people rather than harming them. Ignore them, take the correct steps as outlined above, get on with things. We do not validate negative, abusive people, by reacting to their tantrums. We boot them and continue enjoying our activities. If they decide to clean up their act and join us in the fun, they
are welcome to do so. : )



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