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WOT FOOD REALLY IS
We eat food on a daily basis. Is nahmy. But do we really understand what we are eating? According to ancient Dwagon knowledge:
HAMBURGER: Ground muscle from dead cows. (Better than from live cows, I guess.)
EGGS: Unborn chicken babies.
WHERE EGGS COME FROM: Chickens pops 'em outta their butts. Serious. Look it up.
HOTDOGS: All the pieces of "meat" they can't sell anyway else, all smashed up and mixed with really good stuff like sodium nitrate, sodium benzoate, and lots and lots of salt. Mmmmmmmmmm...
MUSTARD: Crushed plant reproductive organs, mixed with water and vinegar.
VINEGAR: Spoiled apple juice.
MILK: Cow juice. Primarily cow fat mixed with bovine proteins. Right straight outta cows.
HONEY: Bee spit. Honest.
COFFEE. This one is a little more complex. See, the coffee BEAN isn't really a bean. It is a SEED from the coffee fruit. A coffee fruit is something like a cherry. I have no idea what they do with the fruit part, but apparently they throw it away. Then they take the seed, clean it, dry it, roast it until it's pretty much burnt, crunch it up and put it in water and boil it. Which brings one to wonder: who the dickens figured all that out in the first place?
I mean, it's like, "mmmm fruit. Nah, let's throw that away, dry, burn, crush and drink the seed". Ohhh yeah, that makes a lotta sense.
Now, if that is not bad enough, there is Kopi luwak or civet coffee, which refers to the coffee that includes part-digested coffee cherries eaten and defecated by the Asian palm civet. That is right, civet cat eats the coffee fruit, poops out the seeds, and people make coffee from it. For the doubters out there, that's right outta Wikipedia, kinda like civet coffee is right out of a civet cat. mmmmmmmmm....
COOKIES: Da finest wheat mixed wif natural sugars, natural chocolate and baked to perfections.
Is dere any questions?
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P.S. You know "Boston Butt Pork Roast"... guess what part of the piggy THAT comes from?
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