Elf Clan Classics
Unique Musical Instruments Tags: music instruments

 

Folks may know that I make box guitars (also known as "cigar box guitars" or CBGs), as well as standard electric guitars, guitar pickups, flutes and other music instruments.  The very name "box guitar" classifies it as a "guitar"... however it's played differently, tends to have only 3 strings, and most I've seen are made by hand (power tools are okay too).  To me, that makes almost the entire genre "unique".  All one has to do is Google Image CBGs and wow... what an odd assortment of instruments.  One of the things that makes CBGs "unique" to me is that if you ask a CBG maker what the basic "rules" are he'll say every time: "Only one:  there are no rules."

My store:  https://Etsy.com/shop/Wishbringer


Chicken Coop Blues:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN7nVZbZue0

Great documentary:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auY4Vx99MfE

Terrific playing of a simple 3-string amplified CBG (gotta luv it):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVxflu60qsA

Pure unplugged folk:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIIEhH7xOXg

Another instrument that strikes me as unique is the bodhran, which is a thin Irish drum that is played with a double-headed drumstick called a tipper.  Because of that it sounds like one is playing with two drumsticks, when in reality it's one drumstick being flipped back and forth in one hand.  The other hand is placed behind the drum head to change timbre.  Of course they are mass-produced, but the concept always fascinated me.  I own a nice one and it is fun to play.

Great Bodhran demonstration:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ChbigufBC8

An American instrument is the spoons, in which one cradles two wooden or metal spoons between the fingers and clacks them rhythmically between the leg and palm of the other hand.

This is as "folk" as you get:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TS9ugnarQQ

Well... maybe except for this:

https://youtu.be/hiZM47duWIo



Ocean Drums are odd in that they are played using pebbles inside the drum for an effect similar in concept to another interesting instrument, the rain stick.

Really good short ocean drum solo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVj888Yge7c

The Cajon is a drum made entirely out of wood.  The thicknesses of the wood on the front side are inclined.  One sits on the top of the drum and plays the front, which will give different tones depending on where it is thumped.  Players typically wear tape on their fingers to prevent injury.

Talented Cajon solo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyPk6-aEOoM

The Ektara (east Indian), Canjo (American instrument made from a can and stick of wood) or the Diddley Bow are all single-string instruments played either by finger pressure or using a glass / metal / ceramic / wood slide.  They are extremely easy to build by hand and produce an unexpectedly rich and incredible sound.

How to Make a Diddley Bow in 20 minutes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M18A7xLQZsY

Is it bed time yet?  That was a longer post than originally intended. ;D

My first CBG:
https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2922/13480611274_0a584283ee_z.jpg

Notice the highly-professional metal hardware bolts used for the nut and bridge? :D

The RABID PINK PIRATES! Tags: rabid pink pirates

 

RABID PINK PIRATES CHAAARRTER HERE.

 

RABID PINK PIRATES WELCOMES EBERONE!

Absolutely everyone is welcome to join the Rabid Pink Pirates.  Whether tinies or biggies, dinkies or dwagons or pixies, there is Rabid Pink Pirates of all shapes and sizes.   No distinctions, we're all scurvy an' rotten to da crossbones!

The group is free to join.  Search groups, join, haz fun! 

WHO IS DA RABID PINK PIRATES?

The year is... a long time ago, in a virtual world far, far away.  Elf Clan was in its early years, growing and going strong. 

Out of nowhere someone came to Wayfinder Wishbringer, founder of the group, and gave him a surprise gift:  a small parcel of land in JESSEE, the well-known infamous battle sim on Second Life, free of charge.  The details are long forgotten history, but suffice to say this person owned this land as part of another land deal, had no desire or need for it and felt that Elf Clan might enjoy doing something with it.   Jessee was "battle homed" which means that amunition was live, and if one got hit enough times (or by something powerful) it would send them HOME.... from which they would have to port back into Jessee again (a time-consuming task in those days).

WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH 24 PRIMS?

Oddly, this land parcel was very small, allowing approximately 24 prims total building space.  What were we going to do with 24 prims?   Well, Jessee was a battle sim and although Elf Clan wasn't a battle group, the tinies in Elf Clan were another thing.   You see, Jessee was a no-holds-barred, anything-goes region, and everyone knew it.   That was it's reputation.  When you entered Jessee you were taking your safety and welfare into your own hands.  You could expect to be attacked, shot at, griefed... and were allowed to do the same to anyone else there.  Soooo...

The Elf Clan tinies got together and decided to create a group.  What to call it?   How about RABID PINK PIRATES!   Elf Clan already loved pirate parties and Talks Like a Pirate Day was a major event, so let's put all that enthusiasm to good use.

A flag was designed-- a fancy skull & crossbones (but pink of course)-- the word put out, and members started coming in.   They mostly consisted of tinies, but "biggies" joined too.

THE BATTLE FORTRESS AT JESSEE


(right click and VIEW IMAGE to see larger versions, if your computer allows)

Fortunately for our group, this particular parcel of land was right in the center of Jessee, and the highest point in the sim.   This allowed tremendous tactical advantage for the group... if they had some protection.  Because the truth is a lone, isolated avatar on Jessee would last as long as whipped cream at a pie fight (which we'll discuss more of in a bit).  So Wayfinder built a tiny battle fortress... four floors designed for habitation by tiny terrors.  It had slots built into it so things could be shot out of it, but like all good fortresses prevented (for the most part) weapons from entering the fortress.

JUST ADD TINIES

The Rabid Pink Pirates took over the fortress immediately and had many events in which they would cram as many tinies in the fortress as would fit, each armed with some kind of absurd weapon.  The favorite was WATERMELON LAUNCHERS, which were long-range, minimal-damage projectile weapons. 

You can imagine the surprise of seasoned Jessee warriors who were suddenly bombarded by wave after wave of ripe watermelons.  Add to that PIE THOWERS, which left splatters of whipped cream wherever they hit.  WAFFLE TOASTERS were legal devices, as was anything else the Rabid Pink Pirates could come up with.  And since the fortress had been well-built (and extremely simplified), it was difficult for the standard battlers to figure out how to infiltrate it. 

REPOOTASHUN

Before long the Rabid Pink Pirates had a reputation on Jessee as a force to be reckoned with.  For although watermelons and pies may not carry the punch of some of the highly-lethal weapons carried by the everyday Jessee warrior, get hit by enough of them and it does some damage.  More than one battle-hardened soldier was sent home by one watermelon too many.   People could tell by the congregated green dots on the Mini Map that the Rabid Pink Pirates were there and loaded for bear... and that for the next hour or two, tiny mayhem would rain down upon the region from the highest vantage point in the sim.

Some warriors congratulated us on our well-conceived strategy and invited us to visit their lairs and dugouts.   They had some nice places there-- ranging from trenches to dugouts to underground party zones.  It was amazing the variety of places on Jessee. 

The fortress was inhabited mostly by tinies in those days (not a lot of room inside).  For quite some time the Rabid Pink Pirates enjoyed some notariety as one of the primary (not to mention most hilarious) battle groups on the region.  'Cos when you hits someone wif a watermelon, you gotta shout a jeer at da accomplishment.  Dat's just how it done!  "YOU BEEN MELONED BY A WABBIT!  BWAAHAHHAAHAA..."  Since we were in the very center, the shouted laughter and tiny taunts could be heard all over the region. 

ALL GOOD THINGS MUST END

Eventually the person who owned the land shut down his holdings on SL (as did many people) and we lost our land on Jessee.  But while we had it, the RABID PINK PIRATES made the most of it... and enjoyed every minute.

When Elf Clan came to Inworldz the Rabid Pink Pirates came with us.  When Inworldz died we moved to OSgrid and Kitely, where we are often found on Tessin and Wellspring.   Can't sink us!  Well, we not stay sinked.  We returns like a bad burrito!

Anyone can joins us, regardless of size and shape.  Here's a couple of photos from one of our parties held up high in a tree at an Inworldz Anniversary event:

Treetop Rabid Pink Pirate Party at Inworldz


 

MOAR RABID PINK PIRATE FOTOS!!!

Snoots, da Scurviest of da Rabid Pink Pirates. Is rumored to sit on chocolate cakes. Arrrrrrrr.

 

Pirate Party in 2007- dancing platform and fully-weaponed battle ships!  They were blown to pieces by end of the party. :D

 

Cardboard piratey ship

 

Chipmunk Pirates!

 

Rabid Pink Pirates come in ALL SIZES!  No scurvy distinctions here, we is all scourge of da Seben Seas!

 

Ready for battle!

 

Oh noes!  We is sinking!  Curse da barnacles on our hull!

 

Baaad Pirate!

 

Pirate Pawty at Tollsmeare

 

Talk Like a Pirate Day-- BAM!  Got 'em!

 

Drats!  Sinkted again!

 

--o--

Snoots' Guide to Cosplay Tags: cosplay


   You can find the Hall of Cosplay in the tunnels of Replicant City in high-sky ElvenSong on OSgrid.

    Cosplay is the art of dressing up as a favorite character (from just about any genre) and attending a science fiction / comic convention as that character.

    The costumes range from amazingly complex to just plain strange.   The Hall of Cosplay has over 250 photos of the best-of-the-best of Cosplay characters. Please feel free to visit the exhibit.  Is awesomesauce.

    But how is Cosplay done?  The following is a very brief beginner's guide of Cosplay methods to get one started.

 

HOW TO COSPLAY

    In cosplay there are several things to consider to make the convention fun:

    * First and foremost, consider physical necessities.  You have this awesome costume (or not so awesome, depending on your intent).  It took you months to create it, hours to put it on.  Now... how do you go to the bathroom, drink water or eat?  Keep physical necessities in mind.

    * Consider the cost of attending the convention in your overall calculations.  Shame to build a fantastic costume and not be able to attend a convention or three to show it off.

    * The costume is only part of it. The attitude and role play is equally important.


    * It's best to pick a part that fits you physically (not essential, but best). You can do this by either going with a match-- or an exact opposite (such as a girl playing an ogre, a guy playing Wonder Woman, or a small person playing a 40K Terminator).      It's usually either replication or satire that works.  But the wonderful thing about cosplay:  there are no rules.

    * You can cross genres if you're skillful. A steampunk Elf carrying a huge gun and and checking people out with a "stolen" sonic screwdriver can be a lot of fun. :D

 

    * Decide on whether you want a simple, "fun" costume (sometimes just a T-shirt and a hat) or an all-out, complex one.  Search the Internet for inspiration.  Read websites on "How to make a Cosplay Costume".  Look at YouTube.  there are hundreds or even thousands of sites telling you step by step how it's done, from simple to highly advanced.

 

    * Keep it comfortable. Be aware of the need for air flow, especially on the head. Wigs and hats will need ventilation.  Skullcaps are going to be very hot.

    Remember that conventions will range from hundreds to tens of thousands of people (the latest convention I attended had over 100,000 people attend in 3 days).   Each body literally generates the BTU of a small space heater (6000 to 8000 BTU).  This can make the environment very "chummy" very quickly.  If you have to, use battery-operated internal fans or neck-coolers to survive.

    * Keep the weight down. For example if playing an elf... you can carry a full-size solid-steel Elven sword (illegal at some conventions), or a realistic-looking plastic version.  Which is going to make your shoulders sore by the end of the day?

   Same with water and food.  You are going to need both water and food to keep your strength up.  Choose light-weight, high-calorie, high-nutrition versions.  You don't want to weigh your stomach down with expensive convention vendor food.

    * Be aware of size. It's difficult to navigate aisles in a wide petticoat-based dress or full-size Warhammer 40k armor.

    * When posing for a photo, rather than standing and smiling... try striking an appropriate-themed pose. For example with a Dr. Who outfit-- you can just stand there... or you can take a sonic screwdriver reading on someone posing with you, or offer a Jelly Baby to the photographer or someone nearby.

    A strange looking anime character can just stand there and look pretty-- or strike a pose that says, "THIS COSTUME ROCKS!"   Make the character live.   Be the character.  Themed poses are much more interesting for photos and may make the Internet.

    * You can spend almost nothing on a costume, or spend quite a bit (as in months of time and hundreds of dollars). Consider hobbies: most people spend quite a bit on their hobbies. A good costume usually requires either a lot of time and craft-- or monetary investment-- or both. It pays off in fun. Until one has cosplayed-- one hasn't really gotten into the spirit of a convention.

    * If you actually look like the character you'll get a lot more attention. One of the bonuses of my Doctor Who outfit was that I looked a bit like Tom Baker to start with. That helped pull off the overall appearance.  At one convention a large man with warts on his face... chose the part of an ogre, wearing burlap cloth.  People loved it.  Go with what you've got naturally!

    * Research the history of the character. People will make references and it helps to know what they're talking about.  Know your character's story through-and-through.  Study your character. Study the movements, facial expressions, make it your own.

    * It's neat to have something to give people who recognize  your costume, wear a great costume themseves, or for children dressed in costume. For me it was Jelly Babies. If you were an elf, you could have an Elven phrase printed on a nice little book marker and tell people it is guaranteed to protect them from Balrog attacks during the convention. It's humorous, cheap to have produced (computer / printer / scissors), and gives them a memento. You'll need a couple hundred such items (at least), so keep them small, lightweight and easy to produce. Most cosplayers don't offer such, so it will get you remembered and will give attendees a nice memento of the convention.  (There are Elvish translation websites on the Internet.)

    * Make sure any hat stays on your head without constantly falling off.

    * Beware long dress trains that people might step on.

    * Go all-out and enter the costume contest.  Register for such months ahead of time as many conventions run out of competition space.   Walk slowly across the stage, presenting to both audience and judges (who will usually be behind you).  Face the judges as well as the audience.  Address them directly and loudly enough the audience can hear (use a mike if necessary).  Avoid being ridiculous; have the character's mannerisms and spiel down pat. Practice, practice, practice.  Something fun / funny and even out-of-character is always remembered (think Hello Kitty with an AXE!).

    Costume contests are fun. Winning is icing on the cake-- and you never know what is going to strike the judge's fancy. Quite often it is more the presentation and attitude rather than the costume itself.

    That's about it. Just a few tips.  Be sure to visit the Hall of Cosplay and don't let the high-skill costumes intimidate you.  One of my favorites is a simple T-shirt that says, "Error 404-- Costume not found."


--o--

 

 

Elf Clan Characters & More Tags: roles characters species races

In ElvenMyst dere is lotses of different kind of peeps..Oona will writes a bit about dem and other peeps :)

High Elves

Dis is a high elven.High elves is distinguished from other fantasy elves by deyr place of livin, as dey usually dwell in stone cities, instead of woods, like woodland elves. Typically high elves consider demselves da most purely good race of all, and view all other races
beneath them, especially lower elves, and dey is usually da most magically developed of all elves. Dey is very proud and arrogant, developed fer magic instead of combat.
Generally dey is taller and more slender than humies, wif pale skin, blond or white
hair sum also wif darker hair, and light blue, green or grey eyes.Oona borrows dis pic from Koni

 
Woodland Elves

Skywise and Cutter from Elf Quest.Dey protect deyr forest and all its flora and fauna fiercely, and dey dun trusts outsiders. Dey prefer a romantic, simple existence in harmony wif da land, its wild beauty and wild creatures.Dey is nimble and quick in body and wit, and because of deyr curious natures and natural agility, woodland elves is especially suitable as scouts, rangers, and thieves. But most of all, da woodland elves is known for deyr skills with bows. Dere is no finer archers in all da lands. Generally dey is slightly shorter than humies, and have tan skin. Deyr hair is usually blond,shades of brown or black, and deyr eyes green, brown, or grey.
In da Elf Quest stories dey communicate wif telepathy wif eachother and animals so dat da enemy can't hear dem.Deyr enemy is humies.
 
Half Elves

Dis is Jaiden.Oona thinks him is half elven half hobbit.Half elves is da result of an elf breeding wif another race, usually humies. History reveals certain prejudices against half-elves. Humies is jealous of half-elves extended life spans, while other elves consider dem a tainting of pure blood. Because of dis, dey push demselves to excel in wutever deyr chosen field, maybe hopin dat success will help dem fit in or to spite dose who consider dem inferior. Ya will not find a more dedicated priest, a more loyal fighter, or a more studious mage dan a half-elf.Dis is Jaiden's profile pic..Oona borrows it.
 
Cyber Elves

Dis is Eren and Koni as cyber elvens..Ya might be surprised sum of ya,but dere really is cyper elvens :) In dese stories da elvens lives on fictional planets or futuristic fictional cities.Dey not ride horsies,or other animals,instead dey rides zoomers,a vehicle dat looks like a flyin motorbike.And dey gots jet boards to do tricks and jumps wif..Is like a skateboard.Dey dun uses bow and arrows when dey fight,dey've got serious boom sticks.And dey've got large space crafts.Oona borrows dis pic from Koni.
 
Wastelander Elven

Dis is Damas,king of da wastelander elvens.Oona couldn't find any pics of da original ones.
Da wastelander elven lives in da desert,and welcomes anyone to join dem.Anyone wif a skill dey can use to survive in da harsh desert.Dose dat dun possess any skills,is dead weight and left and forgotten.Dey not evil or bad,dey just sticks do da stongest survives.
Dey good melee fighters and archers.And good wif findin resorces dat exist in da desert.

 

Drows,Dark Elven

In older stories of dark elven,dey were not dark coz of deyr skin.It was coz of dey was evil,and forms allience wif da evil hob.Stories changes and now dey is seperated in 2 different races,dark elven and drow.Todays drows is tall like high elves,wif grey or ebony coloured skin and white hair..Oh,dey still evil and maybe even more arrogant and proud
dan high elves.Dey good melee fighters,archers and magicians.And in da new stories,it seems dey is da high elvens enemies.
 
Pixies

Da most famous pixie must be Tinkerbell,Peter Pan's lil mellon.She naughty,does wut she wants when she wants. She haves a good heart tho.She loves Peter and is jealous of Wendy,whom Peter seems to fancy.
But she helps Wendy and da others coz she fond of Peter.
 
Oona Pixie

Is prolly more naughty dan Tink.And defiant and very stubborn.Oona is a very good prankster,but is also very fond of candy..So Oona might be distracted by da candy,and forget all about da prank.Oona luvs to bug dem orkses.Like decoratin deyr embassy,dat good fun.Oona is plannin a prank against dem orkses..Ya wait and sees wut Oona will do;)
Ya can reads more about Oona on "Dis is Oona".
 
Cornish Pixies

Cornish pixie from da 2nd Harry Potter movie.Dey not evil,but very naughty,and dey likes to bug everybody.Dey comes in packs and is an irriation factor like knats or mosquitos.
In sum games if ya wanders in da woods gettin lost or is not doin any activity like fightin or a puzzle,den dem annyoin lil thingies shows up and really bugs ya.
 
Gnomes

Dis is a gnome.Dem kinda naughty lil buggers too..If ya not nice wif dem,dey might burn yer crops,steal yer critters,steal food and pee in yer barn.So watch out.Dere is many kinds of gnomes,but da one on da pic,is one from da older stories.Dere is even a big book about dem.Called ""Gnomes".Is about how dey lives,wut dey eat..dey takes care of animals.Dey is not adults before dey is like 70 years old,and den dey gets married and haves kids..Dey always get twins.
 
Hobbits

Frodo Baggins,everybodys fave hobbit.Dey tiny peaceful peeps,wif big hairy feet..Even deyr babies haves big hairy feet.Dey lives in cosy howses kinda like da Tellytubby howse.
Da hobbits is known from Lord of da Rings trilogy books and movies.Story is dat Frodo haves to brings a ring dat holds awesome power to da place it was maked.Him haves to protect da ring so it not falls in da wrong hands.But da ring does stuffs to hims.Makes da sweet lil hobbit change personality.
 
Orks / Orcs

Dis is Schlitzie.Him is an ork.Oona says ork,coz him not one of Tolkien's orcs,him one of
Warhammer 40k orkses.Oona not gonna says dat much about da orkses,coz Schlitzie got it covered in one of hims blogs.But wut Oona is gonna says,is dat pixies luvs buggin dem,but we good mellons too.

 
Grulls

Dis is a grull.Dey tiny creatures dat is fond of gold.Dey'll do anythin fer gold.Dey not so smart.Dey good melee fighters and evasive.Primary weapons is axes and maces,but dere is sum archers and mages.Deyr magic is not advanced.Dey is serious thieves.Dey rob ya blind if a not watch out.
 
Goblins

Dis is Blix,a goblin from da Legend movie.Goblins is small, green (or yellow-green) creatures wif pointy ears and high intelligence (tho often lil common sense).Dey is evil and usually sidekicks of sumone like wizards or other evil beings.But in sum stories dey got deyr own society wif a goblin leader.
 
Northmen

Northmen..Dem like really evil cold dudes from da Northern Tundra.Dem really good archers and melee fighters.Dey not uses magic.Dey also got mechanical weapons and catapults.Dey will form allience wif anyone evil dey can benefit from.Ya will often sees giant yeties wif dem.Dey is known as barbarians from da north.
 
Dwarves

Koni wanted dwarfs ^^ Here is Disney's Snow White and da 7 dwarfs,Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey Happy,Koni? heee
 
Ok....Not da dwarfs ya had in mind..Oona finds dwarfs,Koni:)

Dis is Willow and hims wife.Willow finds a humie baby wif a tattoo on it's arm.Him and hims's wife wants to take care of it as deyr own.But it turns out dat dere is an evil witch dat wants to kill dis baby,and Willow has to protect it and go on a long journey too. Dis movie is old,but Oona likes it..And dere is a whole village dere full of dwarfs and even kids:) Willow's kids looks just like him and him's wife ^^ So cute...heee
 

Dese is prolly da dwarfs ya wanted,Koni:) Dey is worriors and often belongs to different clans.Dey is excellent blacksmiths and forges big weapons,armor etc.Dey is a proud race and often tells stories of great dwarven worriors of da past.Dey is awesome melee fighters,alltho slow,dey can pack a serious punch.Weapons is axes,maces,halbreds etc.
Note: Is many dwarven races and subraces.
 
Balrog

Oona dunno much about da balrog..Only dat is a creature from Lord of da Rings,a creature of darkness,and Oona thinks Gandalf fights it in da end of da first book where dey both falls into da abyss..
Oona sure hope Koni happy now:)
 
--o--

The Totally Freaky Truth About Matter Tags: freaky truth matter

 

THE TOTALLY FREAKY TRUTH ABOUT MATTER
    
Read this. You not be sorry. Freaked out maybe...
 
    * All matter is composed of atoms
    * Atoms consist of three parts: proton, neutron, electron
    * The "nucleus" consists of protons and neutrons.
    * Electrons form the "shell" and orbit the nucleus.
    * The nucleus is incredibly, incredibly small compared to the size of the atom overall. How small?
     Place a marble inside a large spherical room 200 miles across. That's how small.
    * But despite its small size, the nucleus by far contains the vast majority of weight of the atom.
    * Over 99.9% of an atom's mass is concentrated in the nucleus. The electrons are relatively very, very tiny.  Compared to a proton or neutron, an electron is nothing more than the head of a pin orbiting a marble... some 100 miles away.

That said...
    * The only parts of actual "matter" in an atom, are the proton, neutron, and to a much lesser extent, the electron.
    * The most common atom in the universe is hydrogen, which consists of one single electron and single proton.
    * Relative in size to the atom... within the electron orbit... there are thousands of cubic "miles" of empty space.
    * How much empty space? If you were to compress all the atoms on Earth so that there was zero-space between protons neutrons and electrons-- the result would only be the size of a baseball-- and amazingly that baseball would still weigh as much as the Earth does now. The original size of the Earth, some 3,000 miles in any direction... would be empty space. That's how much empty space was inolved in the atoms of the Earth in the first place... and no matter how solid the ground seems... is how much "empty space" is beneath your feet at this very moment.

Realistically speaking...
    * An atom is almost entirely empty space.
    * The actual matter involved is akin to one speck of dust in an entire city block.
    * What's even scarier, is that empty space doesn't actually contain "air"... because air itself is made up of atoms (rather large ones, in fact). There isn't room inside the atom for air to exist. The space inside an atom-- is quite literally "nothing".

So the totally freaky truth about matter...
    ... is that all matter, no matter how "dense".... is for the most part... empty nothingness.

 
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Wot Food Really Is Tags: food

 

WOT FOOD REALLY IS

 

We eat food on a daily basis. Is nahmy. But do we really understand what we are eating?   According to ancient Dwagon knowledge:

 

HAMBURGER:  Ground mucle from dead cows. (Better than from live cows, I guess.)

 

EGGS: Unborn chicken babies.

 

WHERE EGGS COME FROM: Chickens pops 'em outta their butts. Serious. Look it up.

 

HOTDOGS: All the pieces of "meat" they can't sell anyway else, all smashed up and mixed with really good stuff like sodium nitrate, sodium benzoate, and lots and lots of salt. Mmmmmmmmmm...

 

MUSTARD: Crushed plant reproductive organs, mixed with water and vinegar.

 

VINEGAR: Spoiled apple juice.

 

MILK: Cow juice. Primarily cow fat mixed with bovine proteins. Right straight outta cows.

 

HONEY: Bee spit. Honest.

 

COFFEE. This one is a little more complex. See, the coffee BEAN isn't really a bean. It is a SEED from the coffee fruit. A coffee fruit is something like a cherry. I have no idea what they do with the fruit part, but apparently they throw it away. Then they take the seed, clean it, dry it, roast it until it's pretty much burnt, crunch it up and put it in water and boil it. Which brings one to wonder: who the dickens figured all that out in the first place?

     I mean, it's like, "mmmm fruit. Nah, let's throw that away, dry, burn, crush and drink the seed". Ohhh yeah, that makes a lotta sense.

    Now, if that is not bad enough, there is "Kopi luwak or civet coffee, which refers to the coffee that includes part-digested coffee cherries eaten and defecated by the Asian palm civet".  That is right, civet cat eats the coffee fruit, poops out the seeds, and people make coffee from it.  For the doubters out there, the quote parts are right outta Wikipedia, kinda like civet coffee is right out of a civet cat.  mmmmmmmmm....

 
COOKIES: Da finest wheat mixed wif natural sugars, natural chocolate and baked to perfections.

Is dere any questions?

----

 

P.S.  You know "Boston Butt Pork Roast"... guess what part of the piggy THAT comes from?

 

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The Beginning of Ork War II Tags: ork war ii

THE BEGINNING OF ORK WAR II

    It's not often Elf Clan hears from the Orks (at least not publicly) so the following post is a significant part of Elf Clan history.  To fill in some background:  The pixies and dwagons thought the Ork Embassy looked a little drab and dull... so at the Pixie's direction they all got together and decorated.  Said decorations took the form of pink doilies, flowers, hearts aplenty, Hello Kitty cushions, unicorns, pink curtains, pink doormats... well, you get the idea.

    The Orks were less than appreciative.   The next day Elf Clanners logged on to this rare public blog posted by Ork Leader Schlitzie Martini.  

   The Ork challenge post:

 

WARNING TO WEEDY PIXIE GITS!

 

UH-TEN-CHUN PIXIEZ!!!

Da Orkz knowz dat yooz gitz invaded our landz and left yer nasty candy all over da place!!! We iz not amyoozd! An' since yooz weedy grotz ain't got nuffin ta invade, my gretchinz iz takin' dis 'ere horsey-fing hostage!
 

 
Da orkz will let dis 'ere nasty fing go when yooz gitz get sum land so we'z can invade all propa like!!!!

YOOZ HAZ BEEN WANRED!!!!

luv,

Da Orkz!

==========

    There was no doubt in anyone's mind:  it was on.  The result was the well-known Ork War II-- Ork embattlement on one side of the sandbox, Pixie fortress on the other side.  Someone shot the first round and after that it was arrows and spears and swords vs crayon guns, pink toilet paper launchers and pie throwers.   Oh the mayhem, the mayhem.

 

--o--

What is an Ork? Tags: ork orc

 

WHAT IS AN ORK?  

by Schlitzie Martini, Big Boss of the Waaaugh!

Elf Clan's Ork allies

 

Heya folks. I've found that many of you, while very familiar elves, pixies, and other "light" races of fantasy and even their "dark" counterparts (dark elves for example) aren't quite as familiar with one of fantasy's oldest and dearest adversaries, the orc. So I have decided to write this here blog to get you familiarized with them, their relationship to Elf Clan, and why I dig anything and everything orky.

The idea of orcs were first conceived by JRR Tolkien. In his stories they were elves that were twisted and misshapen by Melkor. They were brutal, twisted, ill tempered, and vicious beasts.

This concept later was taken by Dungeons and Dragons and they were added as a race onto themselves, meant to be used as adversaries for the players.

From that moment on, many games have taken the idea and added their little twist to them. Every new game or story that includes orcs/orks has added new elements to them, thus making them ever more varied, arguably even more so than elves.

I myself have tried to take the most interesting concepts of orky behavior and blend them into Elf Clan. So here is a list of what makes an orc/ork in my conception (and yes there's a difference between an ORC and an ORK, yet they are the same....confused yet? lol)

I've mainly drawn my concepts from Warhammer and World of Warcraft, being as these two concepts fit very well into what I have in mind.

Orcs, while seemingly stupid, are actually quite cunning. They love to play 'country dumb' with the other races, making them think orcs are nothing but stupid grunts incapable i of thoughts higher than "ME SMASH!" While there are those orcs that are just that dumb, and orcs do love to smash things, the cunning orc smashes things that matter. They love to be underestimated....it's what makes them formidable opponents during a war.

Orcs love simple things. Food for example...they can and will eat just about anything, but they prefer a carnivorous diet and are not above eating their own fallen in battle. In peacetime however, they are quite content to just nab a quick nosh at the local eatery...or snatch up any hobbits that come wandering too close to their home, which ever is easier.

They also love to fight. Usually this entails weapons, but some orcs have found other types of competition amusing as well.

Orcs also have a very high and simple code of honor. It doesn't take much to make an orc mad, but they love to huff and stomp. You cross his honor however, and you are in for a world of hurt!

I think that about covers things for now, but I will ad more to this blog later.

After the initial results of the first ORK/PIXIE war, something has come to my attention. Many do not seem to grasp ork logic. It's quite simple really. it goes like this:

Orkz love to fight.
Orkz love to win.
If orkz fight and win a battle, they win.
If orkz fight and lose a battle, they STILL win because they got to fight.

See? simple. Orkz fight, Orkz win.

 

Part 2     Schlitzie answers questions about Orks

 

1) You mentioned Ork honor. Some greater detail as to what Ork honor is and how it works would be most interesting for our readers.

Ork honor, as it stands within Elf Clan anyway, is pretty simple. Orks hold strength as a great asset, and strength comes in many forms...most obviously physical strength, but strength in wisdom is also very highly regarded. Orks live by their word, and will hold to that word by pain of death. Of course orks can vary on how far this honor is extended. Some view all sentient beings as capable of honor and strength and extend this to all who they feel worty, while other orks are more xenophobic viewing other races as weak, therefore not worthy of such honor. Many orks hold to a form of warrior code, much like bushido of the samurai.

2) The actual difference between Orcs and Orks. Most folks don't know.

The two terms can be used interchangeably, thus throwing much confusion over which is which.
ORC is usually the more generic of terms, used in many fantasy genres and fiction, especially when refering to those of Middle Earth. It is also the preferred spelling by elves and men.
ORKS or more aptly ORKZ is the spelling used when orks refer to themselves. It also best describes the space orks of Warhammer 40,000, which is where I get most of my inspiration.

3) Ork logic. It's far different from other races (more akin to Klingons I think). Fill us in.

This was covered earlier in the post, but bears repeating I believe:
Orkz love to fight.
Orkz love to win.
If orkz fight and win a battle, they win.
If orkz fight and lose a battle, they STILL win because they got to fight.


4) How'd you come to be the leader of the Orks on Second Life?

Just like any self respecting ork warboss...I was the BIGGEST and LOUDEST. I simply said "I'M DA BIG BOSS!" and da other orkz sed "YOOZ DA BOSS!"

5) Why did the Orks decide to support Elf Clan and how'd you get to be our oldest and most loyal allies?

That goes into quite a bit really, quite simply put Elf Clan has always been very positive and supportive to all things orky, so we stuck with them.

6) What are "grots", "gretchins" and "snotlings"?

ahh, the wee gitz! here's the break down:

Gretchin are the WH40K term for goblins, which are related to orks. They tend to be more cunning, but very cowardly unless encountered in large numbers. They also tend to be lackeys to bigger orks or nobz and even to big bosses.

Snotlings are smaller and stupider versions of goblins, very animal like and vicious. They are also very tasty and end up eaten if they aren't quick enough to get away from a hungry ork.

Grot is a term orks use to refer to things smaller and weaker than they are, mainly in reference to the smaller greenskins mentioned above, but sometimes in reference to anything smaller...usually as an insult (another fun pastime for orks, hurling insults).

Squigs should be mentioned as well. These are nasty critters that can vary widely in size AND in uses. Orks cannot grow hair, so they use specialized "hair-squigs" for this purpose. Some squigs are merely meant to be eaten, while some are bred for fighting, while some can be grown to gigantic proportions and used as battle wagons...these are known as squiggoths and be as big as a house.

7) What is a dakka dakka?

DAKKA is a word orks use in reference to guns and gunfire. One can usually hear a Flash-Git or a Shoota Boy yelling "DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!" as he fires rounds in battle. Dakka by itself is usually a reference to automatic guns and machineguns.

 

Part 3   Ork Heirarchy

Ah some of you might not know what the ork hierarchy is, so here's the breakdown lowest to highest

GIT or GROT: also used as insults, this rank is usually held by gretchin

BOYZ: Also used in to refer to orkz as a whole, this is the basic rank and often used after a word to describe what sort of boy the ork is for example SLUGGA BOYZ are melee fighters, SHOOTA BOYZ are gunners and such.


'ARD BOYZ: these are boyz that have fought more than a few battles, and harder to take down. Veterans of many battles.

NOBZ: When orkz grow more powerful, they grow in size. Nobz are like elite soldiers...they bigger, meaner, and in charge when the boss ain't around.

MEGANOBZ: These are nobz that have been augmented with cybernetics and power armor, and much harder to take down than a nob.

BOSS: Ork leaders, but not the top leader. This title is held by orks who lead squads and are usually meaner versions of the squad they lead...they are usually nobz.

BIG BOSS: The head honcho, the big kahuna...the biggest and meanest ork in a WAAAGH and usualy the one who called it. These orkz are huge in size, meaner than mean, and very cunning. You don't get to be a big boss without having some kind of tactical smarts, and the big boss can be quite sneaky when it comes to warfare, using logic thought unknowable amongst the orks.

 

--o--

Ode to The Tavern Keeper Tags: tavern keeper bryster shan

ODE TO THE TAVERN KEEPER

A note of thanks to Bryster Shan

by Mao Lemieux

 

Who keeps the bartop free from rat and ork
and pixie's tricks and Dwagon's probing snout?
"A drink for you I'm thinking," asks, uncorks
and pours us rums, or Wootnog, dwarven stout?
Who bids us hearty welcome, knows our names,
acknowledging each one of us as "Lord"
or "Lady," warm and bright as any flame,
unsatisfied until our drinks he's poured?
How empty would our Second Evenings be
without the fellowship he catalyzes
with cookies, dancing, witty repartee
and customers (who bring their own surprises)?
So tip the man, and let's all raise a flagon
To Bryster Shan, who tends the Thirsty Dragon!

 

--o--

 

The Beginning of Elf Clan (lore) Tags: elf clan lore beginning

 

We're sometimes asked, "What is the story behind Elf Clan?"... the lore of the group (not how we came to be, but our "role play" story).

It's not a complex one. After the War of the Rings, once the One Ring had been destroyed at Mount Doom... the world returned to normal... at least as much as it could.

Most of the Middle Earth people returned home. As you know, Samwise returned to the Shire and raised a fine family. Bilbo Baggins and Frodo Ninefingers went off to Valinor with the Elves.

However, it is little known that there were some Elven who were in far distant places in Middle Earth, who once the One Ring was destroyed, had too far to travel to join the other Elven at Valinor. Upon the destruction of the ring we were found in a rather unusual situation. The Orcs that had previously been fighting against us, their minds now cleared of the evil influence of Sauron, were now quite lost. Dim memories began to return-- memories that they were once Elven. Of course, they were unable to totally shed their Orcish influence and still retained many of their ways, but they came to realize that things simply were not right.

The Lord of the High Elven, realizing Elf Clan was now the last of the Elven in Middle Earth, invited the Orcs to a feast of friendship... which amazingly the Orcs accepted. This was due largely to the leader of the Orcs... Schlitzie... who realized new changes were necessary. During that feast, the two leaders became fast friends, recognizing in one another honor particular to their race (mainly because the Elven Lord accepted a draught of Ork Snot Ale and declared it palatable-- which instantly endeared him to the Orc Boss). On that night, Schlitzie stood before Orc and Elven alike and swore friendship of the Orc Waaagh to Elf Clan for all eternity. Wayfinder granted the Orcs land and Embassy... and a firm friendship began.

Thus did the unthinkable occur, and the Orcs became Elf Clan's strongest and most fearsome allies. No, there was not always peace between the two groups. They once engaged in a major war (fortunately at which no lives were lost but one... and that was an Orc that unintentionally killed himself with an Elven Arrow and started off the war in the first place). The Elven and Orcs often jokingly insult one another... but would even more strongly defend the honor of one another should anyone else dare to insult.

Beneath the jibes exists a friendship and understanding stronger than any army could break. Let no outsider attack either group, for they shall face the wrath of the other. If Elven and Orc were fierce warriors alone... pity the army that comes against them jointly.

This alliance became legendary and as news traveled throughout Middle Earth, it attracted many homeless of other races. Hobbits came to the land and found that indeed, while the Orcs regularly spoke of feasting on Hobbit flesh... they were safe even in the middle of an Orc encampment (and Orcs found Hobbit ale to be somewhat acceptable... by the barrelful).

The Dragons, amazed that they were welcome and honored, swore to protect the lands and thus became our loyal guardians. There were no "good" nor "evil" dragons here... but rather dragons freed of the influence of evil... strong, wise and neutral in all politics and races, protecting all within their long-sight.

Dwagons eventually hatched and jointly decided "eberthing" was dwagon territory-- but they'd let the Elves run things because Elves makes good cookies. The Pixies came and along with the Dwagons, enjoyed tormenting the Orcs endlessly (the Orcs obligingly rage at and chase them-- to the delight of all involved).  The short-lived Orc-Pixie war is a record of history.

Soon the word spread to the Mer, and they came through the waters to join these lands, accompanied by Centaur and Faeries and Ents. Before long, all manner of creatures came to the lands of Elf Clan... even some from the race of men who no longer found a home in the rest of Middle Earth.

As time passed, the Elven Council realized that Mankind was growing populous and strong and soon would overrun everything. The Elven and Fae foresaw the time of technology... and a terrible time it would be. So with the agreement of their brethren the Orcs, they joined their magic along with the Dragons. The three races created a tremendous magic which removed the Elven Lands forever from the space and time of Man.

But the races wisely chose to leave a mystical gate open-- both to the age of Man and the ancient times of Middle Earth. Any who are rightly disposed of heart and mind are drawn to that gate... and may enter into our realms, where they may choose to stay or return to their own time and place. That barrier is sometimes crossed by the adventurous pixies and dwagons*... but they always return, reporting of the evils of men and weeping that they are destroying the earth.

Thus, in our place of time and wondrous magic, Elf Clan remains. It is a group not just of Elven, but of all those who have come to accept the code and honor of the Elves (more or less) and who in their joining, have given great joy and diversity to our lands.


--o--

* If anyone has ever wondered how we wound up with a Star Trek exhibit on Elf Clan lands.. that's how. A dwagon crossed the barrier into the times of modern man, somehow happened to watch a Star Trek episode or two... and after that there was no stopping them. Go Karts, automobiles and motorcycles soon followed. There is an Elf Clan saying: "As futile as controlling a dwagon."

Or as the Orcs say, "Ptah! Dwagons. Ya can't live with 'em and ya can't eat 'em." The Orcs have no right to complain of course. They think Klingons are great and the lore of Space Orks from a mere game of mankind changed their entire culture.

I really do need to start putting guards on that gate...

The Dwagon Tries to Help Tags: thirsty dragon tavern dwagon bryster

 

AT THE THIRSTY DRAGON TAVERN...

[18:39] Eren Padar: BTW Bryster... I dun something nice last night.
[18:40] Bryster Shan: Oh ;-(
[18:40] Gavenia Edenflower: What did you do nice Eren?
[18:40] Eren Padar: Well, I was in last night.
[18:40] Eren Padar: and I thinked about how Bryster was upsetted wif me.
[18:41] Eren Padar: An I wunnered wot I could do to makes him happy.
[18:41] Bryster Shan raises an eyebrow
[18:41] Bryster Shan: Really?
[18:41] Eren Padar: So I wented an got my cookie collection-- da good one...
[18:41] Bryster Shan: Oh?
[18:41] Eren Padar: An I open eber boddle on da shelfs an I crumble a cookie inside it an close da cork back up so it taste bedder.
[18:41] Eren Padar: It taked almost eber cookie I had, but I figure it wurf it.
[18:42] Eren Padar: I thinked, "if dat make Bryster happy, dat wot to do."
[18:42] Bryster Shan: Tell me you're kidding, Eren.
[18:42] Eren Padar: Nopes.
[18:42] Gavenia Edenflower: shakes head in amazment...
[18:42] Eren Padar: Taked me loooong time.
(Bryster faints)
[18:42] Eren Padar: Awww
[18:42] Eren Padar: He so happy he fainted
[18:42] Eren Padar chirps contentedly
[18:42] Bryster Shan: Eren? It's been fine knowing you.
[18:42] Bryster Shan: Any last words?
[18:42] Eren Padar: I almost outta cookies now, but I happy to does it.
[18:42] Gavenia Edenflower: Eren .....every bottle?
[18:42] Eren Padar: yeah
[18:42] Eren Padar: Except da beers
[18:43] Eren Padar: Cos I figure cookies an beers not go good together.
[18:44] Gavenia Edenflower: Eren meant well I am sure
[18:44] Bryster Shan: I'm just going to bang my head against a wall.
[18:44] Gavenia Edenflower: oh no Bryster please don't
[18:45] Eren Padar: See, cookie settles to bottom of boddle... and flavors whole drink. :D
[18:45] Gavenia Edenflower: I am sure we can repair the drinks....
[18:45] Bryster Shan: WW was right.
[18:45] Bryster Shan: WW said Eren was a nutcase.
[18:46] Bryster Shan: You know? For a creature that has two brains......something is badly wrong.

---

See? Is pruf. I tries an tries to be good dwagon, but it neber turn out right. Dey was my bestest cookies too.

----

Bryster, Beer and Dwagons Tags: bryster beer dwagons tavern thirsty dragon

 

BRYSTER, BEER and DWAGONS   by Unique Serrao

 

I happened to be online last night when the following events transpired. I will offer up my investigative reporting of the events as they happened (at least what I heard and saw). I have even brought back evidence of such happenings so you can determine in your own minds what might have happened. Regardless of whether a 'liddle dwagon' is guilty of supposed crimes or not, he is innocent until proven guilty. So, let those come forward who have evidence to the contrary. Word of mouf, ah mouth.. won't suffice.. Here we go!!

[18:33] Bryster Shan: The Thisrty Dragon is Open!!
[18:33] Eren Padar: Hoo!
[18:33] Bryster Shan: or even the Thirsty Dragon
[18:33] Maralee Greenwood smiles and claps
[18:34] Eren Padar: I not knows nuthin about da empty Guiness cans.
[18:34] Zauber Exonar: lol
[18:34] Maralee Greenwood: Eren! were you thirsty BEFORE the opening !!
[18:34] Eren Padar: I not had a single drink today.
[18:34] Bryster Shan: EREN!!!!!!!!
[18:34] Eren Padar: wot?
[18:34] Koni Lanzius: hehe
[18:34] Bryster Shan: I want a word wid you!!!!
[18:34] Eren Padar blinks inocently. wots?
[18:35] Bryster Shan trips over empty beer cans
[18:35] Maralee Greenwood smiles thinking he always LOOKS innocent
[18:35] Bryster Shan: ....all wid Eren's name on dem.
[18:35] Eren Padar: Wot? Who dun dat? someone raids you ice chest?
[18:35] Maralee Greenwood blocks the door
[18:35] Eren Padar: Someone writed my name on dem???!!! I is framed!
[18:35] Koni Lanzius: hehe
[18:36] Bryster Shan: Nice drinks cabinette though.
[18:36] Eren Padar: : ) glad you likes it
[18:36] Maralee Greenwood spies a intresting marker in his hand and thinks it may match the writing on the cans
[18:36] Eren Padar: But beer cans not could have beens me. I has alibi. Tells him Koni.
[18:36] Bryster Shan: hehe
[18:36] Koni Lanzius: hahahahahaha
[18:36] Koni Lanzius: uhhhhh
[18:37] Koni Lanzius: yea he, uhh
[18:37] Eren Padar: She was wif me when I putted dem dere. I mean, when someone setted me up.
[18:37] Koni Lanzius: haha
[18:37] Bryster Shan: ROTF!

 


[18:37] Maralee Greenwood is doubled over with laughter
[18:37] Maralee Greenwood: that is NOT my marker, Eren...
[18:37] Maralee Greenwood looks at him all innocent
[18:38] Eren Padar: I will says though, dat Guiness pretty good stuff. Drinks a few of dem and don't needs dwagon gas to makes flameses.
[18:38] Eren Padar: Helps makes eyes whirly too.
[18:38] Koni Lanzius: hahahaha
[18:38] Eren Padar: (belpches)
[18:38] Bryster Shan tries to tidy up empty cans, gives up ans polishes glasses instead.
[18:38] Maralee Greenwood: ol whirly eyes said it first and right here
[18:38] Eren Padar: I tells you wot, to be total nice, I come by tonight after inn closed and I will cleans up dem cans
[18:39] Bryster Shan: Eren, yous come by heres right dis miuntes.
[18:39] Eren Padar: Koni won't lets me
[18:39] Maralee Greenwood: would you promise to make everyone laugh again then
[18:39] Koni Lanzius: no he dancin wif me
[18:40] Eren Padar: (She promised me cookies)
[18:40] Bryster Shan: THe would be the Tiny River Dance then?
[18:40] Koni Lanzius: haha
[18:40] Koni Lanzius: not exactly
[18:40] Powers Constantine: Bryster, don't let him in after you leave...We won't have anything to drink for a week at least
[18:40] Bryster Shan: Hes supposed to do it when folks sez it.
[18:40] Koni Lanzius: hahahah!
[18:40] Eren Padar: I waaaay out of reach of broom. : )
[18:41] Bryster Shan: Oh? And like how am I supposed to stop him, Your Eminence?
[18:41] Koni Lanzius: hahaha
[18:41] Koni Lanzius: lol lol
[18:41] Eren Padar: You better checks dem cans for fingersprints

 


[18:42] Bryster Shan: Still, luckily I know where I can get 3 cookies for every empty can. Pretty good price methinks.
[18:42] Eren Padar: I bet you find NO dwagon fingersprints on dem cans
[18:42] Powers Constantine: We will have to bribe Koni...she is our best and last hope
[18:42] Koni Lanzius: hahahahahahahah
[18:42] Eren Padar: 8O 3 cookies for ebery can? WHERE???
[18:42] Bryster Shan: Not telling!
[18:42] Eren Padar: Den I not picking ups.
[18:42] Koni Lanzius: what a clever barkeep!
[18:43] Bryster Shan: No I gets person to come in and picks em up for me.
[18:43] Eren Padar: 8O
[18:43] Eren Padar: but...but I like a cookie

 


[18:43] Bryster Shan sniggers like Muttley
[18:44] Bryster Shan waves to person picking up cans
[18:44] Eren Padar: Dat ok. Maybe hims give me cookies.
[18:44] Bryster Shan: I don't tink so.
[18:45] Bryster Shan: He MY bestest friend
[18:45] Eren Padar: You can smells my bref. You not smell a single beers.
[18:45] Bryster Shan muches on fresh cookies.
[18:45] Exosius Woolley: hahahaha
[18:45] Eren Padar: Not a SINGLE one!
[18:45] Bryster Shan: Not not a sinlge one.....just Ebery one!
[18:45] Eren Padar: eeps busteds
[18:46] Eren Padar: Powers maked me do it!
[18:46] Bryster Shan: ROTF
[18:46] Koni Lanzius: LOL
[18:46] Bryster Shan: Eren. Dat dog won't hunt.....as dey say in humanland
[18:46] Koni Lanzius: poor Powers!
[18:46] Eren Padar: smells powers bref. Gives him straightline test
[18:47] Eren Padar: I'll waits way ober here
[18:47] Powers Constantine: I think we might have to post no cookie rules for dwagons around here...Eren totally out of control
[18:47] Eren Padar: 8O
[18:47] Eren Padar: nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
[18:47] Koni Lanzius: hehehehe
[18:47] Eren Padar sure glad I got stocked up
[18:47] Bryster Shan: I concure.
[18:47] Bryster Shan hidea the xmas cookie jar.
[18:47] Eren Padar: Dat ok. Xmas cookies not got chips
[18:47] Eren Padar: But dey still pretty good....
[18:47] Bryster Shan: mmmmmm de very fresh wholesome cookies taste sooooooooogood!
[18:48] Eren Padar: Okies, what can I do to makes you friends again?
[18:48] Daniel Gymnast: Ewo?
[18:48] Powers Constantine: too much work for Bryster here!!!
[18:48] Eren Padar: Wot I gotta do to get cookies?
[18:48] Bryster Shan: Clean ups meeses.
[18:48] Bryster Shan: messes
[18:49] Eren Padar: I thought you said someone alreaaddy cleam up mess..hmms? (dwagon cocks one eye at barkeep and snorts)
[18:49] Bryster Shan: Someone is cleaning ups messes
[18:49] Bryster Shan: Better gets here fastest
[18:49] Eren Padar: Well den, I not needs to, so we okies. :D
[18:50] Eren Padar: Can I habs cookies now?
[18:51] Powers Constantine: I did but I did not leave mine on the floor...I always clean mine up
[18:51] Eren Padar: oopos
[18:51] UniQue Serrao: I can lay some planks down on the floor over the beer cans so Bryster don't hurt hisselfs
[18:51] Powers Constantine: LOL
[18:52] Bryster Shan: Oh no, My Lady. That wouldnever do. Da dwatted Dwagon would gets of da hooks
[18:52] UniQue Serrao: I was here last night and didn't see a thing
[18:53] Bryster Shan: I'm so sorry you have had to see it now.
[18:53] Eren Padar: Ty UniQue. I likes UniQue. : )
[18:53] UniQue Serrao: he was on the bar, ah, errr, here just being his cute little cowish self
[18:53] Eren Padar: yeah
[18:53] Bryster Shan: Hangons.
[18:53] Eren Padar: Cowish? I was a cow? Owwww maybe I *did* have one or two...
[18:53] Bryster Shan: I remeber him saying there was a big party here after I left.
[18:53] UniQue Serrao: I was sitting right over there (She points to the chair) and could plainly see everything
[18:53] Eren Padar: Uh, dere was big party. Uh... cleaning up beer cans! :D
[18:54] Bryster Shan: Doesn't look like you cleaned up cans
[18:54] Eren Padar: I not can helps it if not eberbody as neat as I is.
[18:54] UniQue Serrao: I saw pixies dancing on the tables over there (pointing in the other direction)
[18:54] Bryster Shan looks at the big bag of fresh cookies he suddenly finds himself with.
[18:54] Eren Padar: Dwagons is very neat you knows. And contientus
[18:55] UniQue Serrao: maybe it was the pixies wot dunnit
[18:55] Eren Padar pouts and makes great big sad waddery eyeses
[18:55] Bryster Shan: I knows it was yous, Eren. I saw piccy thinmgs on Ning!
[18:56] UniQue Serrao sends Eren a big bag of chocolate cookies for being soooo good
[18:57] Woxie Moxie: is the bag on fire?
[18:57] Eren Padar: Wot a Ning?
[18:57] Eren Padar: Awww tyty. Yup I a good dwagon. :D
[18:57] Eren Padar: I eben throwed da empty cans behind da bar so dey could be re-used.
[18:58] Koni Lanzius: hehe
[18:58] Eren Padar: I thinks powers can picks up cans if you needs him too.
[18:59] Eren Padar: Cos he drinked most of 'ems
[18:59] Eren Padar: I only drinked 12. Uh,... 2
[18:59] Powers Constantine: sounds like eren know how many cans are there...i knew it
[18:59] Powers Constantine: lol.lol
[18:59] Eren Padar: Dere is elebenty. I counted
[18:59] Koni Lanzius: lol
[19:00] Eren Padar: But I was a good dwagon too. I putted da left-over beer back in da keg.
[19:00] UniQue Serrao: the stuff at the bottom of your mug?
[19:00] Powers Constantine: I hope it was beer and not something else
[19:00] Eren Padar: Cos some of dem glasses was almost still half fulls. Speshully da pixie ones
[19:01] UniQue Serrao: Bryster has fainted
[19:01] UniQue Serrao: what should I do?
[19:01] Eren Padar: It okies. Keg lots more full now.
[19:02] Curious Hazelnut: a whole glass is a lot of beer for a pixie. I mean you could swim it in, it's so big.
[19:02] Eren Padar: Throws a beer on him. Dat wakes him up for sure.
[19:02] Cyall Akula: try mouth to mouth resucitation, Unique?
[19:02] Eren Padar: Yeah dat!
[19:02] Powers Constantine: no.no
[19:02] Eren Padar: Mouf hims!
[19:02] Powers Constantine: not that
[19:02] UniQue Serrao: okis, here goes nuffin'
[19:02] Cyall Akula giggles
[19:02] Powers Constantine: ohh nooo!!!
[19:02] Bryster Shan looks up at UniQue drinking can of Guiness
[19:02] UniQue Serrao: tee hee
[19:03] Koni Lanzius: LOL
[19:03] Eren Padar: I hears if you pounds him in da chest it helps too.
[19:03] Eren Padar: Needs me to come dances on his chest?
[19:03] UniQue Serrao: oh, I gots me a big hammer for dat
[19:03] Eren Padar: Okies
[19:04] Eren Padar: I hear gotta whams pretty hard
[19:04] Bryster Shan: Yes, Eren and while you're at it you can clean up DA CANS!!!
[19:04] Eren Padar: If hims eyes cross, you too low
[19:04] Powers Constantine: Poor Bryster...between Eren and UniQue
[19:04] UniQue Serrao: will the 1000 ton one works?
[19:04] Cyall Akula: haha
[19:04] UniQue Serrao: rofl
[19:04] Koni Lanzius: lol
[19:04] UniQue Serrao: hahahaha
[19:04] Bryster Shan: Oh I don't mind what Unique does. It's da Dwagon that worries me.
[19:05] Eren Padar: Oh wait UniQue. When givings mouf to mouf, watches where puts knee. Kneal on FLOOR.
[19:05] Powers Constantine: lolololol
[19:05] Bryster Shan: Oh my!
[19:05] UniQue Serrao: Oops
[19:05] UniQue Serrao: NOW you tell me!!
[19:05] UniQue Serrao: sowwie :((
[19:05] Eren Padar: Okies, sound like hims awake. Prolly only needs one more hit.
[19:05] UniQue Serrao: :((
[19:06] UniQue Serrao: he not on floor now
[19:06] UniQue Serrao: he running
[19:06] Eren Padar: Okies. Dat good
[19:06] Eren Padar: Oh him must be feeling better!
[19:06] UniQue Serrao: or....
[19:06] Bryster Shan wonders why his goin hurts.
[19:06] Bryster Shan: groin even
[19:06] Powers Constantine: How far is he running?
[19:07] UniQue Serrao yells: wotcha growin' , Bryster?
[19:07] Powers Constantine: Can you still see him?
[19:07] UniQue Serrao: far
[19:07] UniQue Serrao: very far
[19:07] UniQue Serrao: almost off the radar
[19:07] Powers Constantine: Now you two have run the best barkeep off...
[19:07] UniQue Serrao: not my fault
[19:07] Powers Constantine: We need Bryster
[19:07] UniQue Serrao: I just came to pick up cans
[19:08] Bryster Shan: Oh no worries. I'm running towards a dwatted dwagon
[19:08] Powers Constantine: he is the "Good Elf"
[19:08] Daniel Gymnast: I'm dah good foxie cubie.
[19:08] UniQue Serrao: who is 'the Good Elf"?
[19:08] Bryster Shan mutters "Gonn seehow good I am at hacking a certain dwagon into Ork fodder.
[19:09] Eren Padar: Nya nya. Can't find me. I hiding.
[19:09] UniQue Serrao: man, these beer cans are BIG
[19:10] Bryster Shan sniffs the aire for guiness scent
[19:10] UniQue Serrao: no way a dwagon could drink from one
[19:11] Eren Padar luvs being chasesd. :D
[19:11] Powers Constantine: dwagon got ways!!!!
[19:11] Eren Padar snarfs a bref mint.
[19:12] Eren Padar: grrr chat just lag died
[19:12] Bryster Shan whispers, "HE'll get home sick soon enough.
[19:12] Eren Padar snarfs a bref mint.
[19:13] UniQue Serrao: you been eating tacos again, Eren?
[19:13] Powers Constantine: major chat lag..
[19:13] Eren Padar: yeah.. tacos. Dat it.
[19:13] Bryster Shan: THen I'll grab him by the short and scalys
[19:13] Bryster Shan: Woah lag
[19:14] Eren Padar: yeah major. Gotta really growl at simple chat not owrking
[19:14] Curious Hazelnut pokes at the lag with a stick, but it doesn't move.
[19:14] Eren Padar: And when CHAT lags, you know it server issues. Sim wide
[19:14] Eren Padar: I mean grid wide
[19:14] Eren Padar: Cos I not even on da sim
[19:15] Bryster Shan: I know wot causes it!!!
[19:15] Powers Constantine: running 2 mins slow
[19:15] UniQue Serrao: beer cans on the floor?
[19:15] Bryster Shan: Too many empty guiness cans
[19:15] Bryster Shan: LOl
[19:16] Eren Padar: If I drinkde alll dem Guiness casn, I wouldt'n eben be ables to tpyes!
[19:16] UniQue Serrao: taking photos for evidence room
[19:17] Bryster Shan: Post them on Ning
[19:17] UniQue Serrao: Not a single dragon lip print on a one of dem
[19:18] Bryster Shan: Do Dwagons have lips?
[19:18] Eren Padar: Dat not matter. No dwagon lip prints.
[19:18] Cyall Akula: (or is that pwint?)
[19:19] UniQue Serrao: how else would they snarl?
[19:19] UniQue Serrao: I think so
[19:19] Bryster Shan: Don't need lips to snarl. Snarls is all teeth and gums.
[19:20] Cyall Akula: what about dwagon lip print?
[19:20] Bryster Shan: I do seem to remember Eren wearing lipstick once.
[19:21] UniQue Serrao: no, they curlz da lips den show toofs
[19:21] Bryster Shan: And they use their toofs...er...teeth to open.........CANS!
[19:22] UniQue Serrao: yes
[19:22] UniQue Serrao: no toof marks here either
[19:22] UniQue Serrao: but I do see a touch of lipstick
[19:22] UniQue Serrao: had to been pixies or sumptin'
[19:23] Bryster Shan: Fancy that!
[19:24] Eren Padar: Hihihi!
[19:23] Bryster Shan: Can Dwagons swim?
[19:24] UniQue Serrao: Guess Eren won't be getting more cookies after all.. Sowwie
[19:24] Bryster Shan: ........with large budnlde of cans around their legs?

Can someone please 'splain 'budnlde' to me. Must be a secret Elf Clan code or sumptin'

[19:24] Eren Padar: Hihihi!

[19:24] Bryster Shan: Come here ya little rodent!!
[19:24] Eren Padar: I come to clean up beer cans! :D
[19:24] Eren Padar: Just likes said woudl.
[19:25] Eren Padar: Let's go find 'ejm
[19:25] Eren Padar: Hey!
[19:25] Eren Padar: Dere no beer cans here!
[19:25] Eren Padar: Wot you been drinkins?
[19:25] Bryster Shan: Well it took your long enough!!
[19:25] Eren Padar: I just wented to cleans up beer cans... and NO CANS!!!
[19:26] Eren Padar: Boooyyyyyyy I oughta....
[19:26] Powers Constantine: LOLOLOLOl
[19:26] Eren Padar: Bryster drawed sword and threatenings me! Run away run away!
[19:26] Eren Padar eeps
[19:26] Koni Lanzius: Ahahaha! XD
[19:26] Eren Padar: run away run away
[19:27] Eren Padar sucks energy from my Guiness... uh.. milk hat
[19:28] Powers Constantine: I very good with sword Bryster if you need help
[19:28] Bryster Shan: Good. You can teach me how to scewer Dwagon, My Lord
[19:29] Eren Padar: Powers! Saves me! I been framed!
[19:29] Powers Constantine: lolololol
[19:27] UniQue Serrao: oh, he's a good cleaner upper
[19:27] UniQue Serrao: good Dwagon!!
[19:27] Eren Padar: Can I habs cookies now? :D
[19:29] Eren Padar: awww Bryster gived me cookie. :D

 


[19:30] Bryster Shan: Careful..that might be the one I coverd in Ork dwopping
[19:30] Powers Constantine: lolololol
[19:30] Bryster Shan: Oh yes!! Look it has black bits on it.
[19:28] UniQue Serrao: elebenty x 8 cookies, Bryster
[19:28] UniQue Serrao: he cleaned up
[19:28] UniQue Serrao: your other guy never showed.
[19:29] Bryster Shan: I gave him one to be going on with.
[19:30] Bryster Shan: Oh yes!! Look it has black bits on it.
[19:34] Eren Padar: Oh Bryster! Look ober dere! a rat by da bar! (/me nabs cookie)
[19:35] Koni Lanzius: ahhh
[19:35] UniQue Serrao: Eren?
[19:35] Eren Padar: yesh?
[19:35] UniQue Serrao: you missed a few cans over behind the table
[19:35] Eren Padar: Dem not mines
[19:35] UniQue Serrao: give back the cookie
[19:35] Koni Lanzius: Ahahaha! XD
[19:35] Eren Padar: Nuuuuuuu!
[19:35] Eren Padar: mine mine MINE MiNe mInE mineminemine MINE!
[19:36] Koni Lanzius: hehe
[19:36] Bryster Shan: Good grief
[19:36] Eren Padar: I bet dems cans got LIPS STICKS!

Note: See second photo

[19:36] Koni Lanzius: Ahahaha! XD
[19:36] Eren Padar: Probably Brysters
[19:36] Koni Lanzius: Ahahaha! XD
[19:36] Bryster Shan: Uh?
[19:36] Eren Padar: Bryster, can I has a rums?
[19:36] Bryster Shan: Maybers
[19:37] Eren Padar: 8D
[19:37] Eren Padar perks!
[19:37] UniQue Serrao: Rum and cookies?
[19:37] UniQue Serrao: Ewwwwww
[19:37] Koni Lanzius: eww
[19:37] Koni Lanzius: Ahahaha! XD
[19:35] Bryster Shan: grrr.
[19:38] Eren Padar: Powersssss!! Bryster gived me a rums! I not responsible for wot happen next.
[19:38] Powers Constantine: BRYSTER!!!!! What is going on there?
[19:39] Eren Padar: mmmmmm rums....
[19:39] UniQue Serrao: Uh oh!
[19:39] UniQue Serrao: Eren drinking rum and eating cookies again
[19:39] Eren Padar: lap lap lap lap
[19:39] Eren Padar: Bryster no skinflint for sure. Is GREAT cookie!
[19:39] Eren Padar: I be eating on dis for next 3 days.
[19:39] Eren Padar: Or 30 minutes, whicheber come first.
[19:40] Bryster Shan: I'm lulling him into a false sense of security.
[19:40] Eren Padar liddle eyes whirls. Dem rum pretty good stuff

Unfortunately I had to leave at this point. No telling what 'might' have ocurred after that. But until the next adventure..

May the wind always be at your back and the sunlight dance on your face!

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